Babies, babies, babies...

So, Jonny and I went to the infertility doc yesterday.  Yikes.  I really had no idea what to expect, but I did know that I would be nervous.  Extremely nervous.

Jon and I drove separately so he could head straight to work afterwards.  God bless his boss for being so supportive of his needing to take time off of work and rearranging his schedule to be with me at my multitude of doctor’s appointments.  We got into the office where I had to check in.  On a touch-screen TV.  No sh!t.  This giant TV is sitting on the receptionist’s desk saying “Please touch the screen to check in!”   Wow.  How high-tech is this joint!!  

So, I punch the screen and begin in the check in process.  Very similar to checking in at the airport for your e-ticket.  Without the option to upgrade your seat.  Ah well.  But it did come complete with the ID check in.  As in, there was a webcam on the TV and it snapped my picture.  Although, it was better than the DMV because I got to approve my picture, haha.  

Jon and I sit down in wicker chairs and he picks up a couple magazines for us to thumb through.  I’m sorry, I need to restate that.  We sit down in WICKER CHAIRS.  Guess we know where the budget for the office went to….the TV.

I get called back by the nurse to have my vitals checked.  Blood pressure is HIGH.  Shocking.  She asks me if that’s normal for me.  No, I’m your 120 over 80 girl every other day of the week.  

Then we get called back to see the doctor in his office.  I really liked him except for the fact that he thought my eyes were about 8-10 inches BELOW my eyes.  Hello!!!!!  Up here buddy!!!!  Oh well, men have their faults.  

However, he did make up for it in the fact that he had more statistics than I knew what to do with.  He had done a lot of research about pregnancy and MS, which I was really happy about, however, none of the news he had was good.  All the statistics he had showed that a woman with MS has worse statistics for pregnancy than any other “normal” person.  Which is what I figured, but still hard to hear.  He did mention that the majority of the time if a woman with MS gets pregnant, normally her symptoms are suppressed, which is GOOD.

Then we got to talking fertility options.  I am unable to take the oral hormone pills because my MS doctor said NO.  I guess the oral hormone pills that I would be prescribed tells parts of my brain to make more eggs.  Because my brain is already jumbled up and inflamed in certain areas, the less we mess with it, the better.  So, those are out.  

Next option is taking injection steroids, which I believe is what the ­*other* Jon and Kate did.  I would take the injections for about 10 days to stimulate my ovaries, and then we would try on our own.  Typically, people would use this method for 4-5 months, and if nothing happens, they move on to something different.  When the doctor told us that by trying this method our chance of having twins was 1 in 4 and having more babies than 2 was (I believe) 1 in 10, Jon goes, “OK, that’s good!”  

I nearly fell out of my chair.

I look over at him and say “Are you crazy??  We don’t even have 1 baby yet, and you’re already talking about multiples???”  

And he goes “Once and done, right??”  Ahahahahahaha…he’s so funny.  Jon wants two kids, and I want 4, so we shall see who wins this battle.  I have the feeling that I have the power, but who knows.  Of course, he has volunteered that if we are blessed with multiples, he will personally *snip snip*.  That’ll save us some insurance costs, thanks, hon.  

From talking to my neighbors and good friends Kelly and Lisa, we would probably be better off having twins or multiples first because then we wouldn’t know any different.  If we were blessed with another baby after that, it will be a cake walk.  Ahahahahahaha….it makes sense, but still.  

We also talked about IVF.  The scary thing is that he had a study of 6 women with MS in France that underwent IVF, and 5 out of the 6 of them experienced relapses WHILE prepping for the IVF because of all the hormones, etc.  Wonderful.  I should have asked what the exact differences were between the hormones for us trying on our own and the IVF ones.  Argh.  I was trying so hard to remember everything he was saying.  

So, needless to say, we have a lot of thinking to do, although, I’m pretty sure Jon has his mind made up.  Once he gets back from Ohio tomorrow, we’ll be able to talk about it more.  

I’m trying very hard not to get overwhelmed and to stay calm with this whole baby thing, but it’s getting increasingly more and more difficult.  It’s hard when you’re surrounded by happy little toddlers, and go to baptisms of perfect little boys, and to be a godmother to two beautiful children.  I can’t help but think: “why not me?”  

It seems that everywhere I look, people have kids or babies, or are pregnant and have no problems getting pregnant or staying pregnant.  UGH UGH UGH!!!  How is it that they are so lucky??

Then I have to remind myself that I have a wonderful life, a wonderful husband, wonderful family, wonderful friends and I need to focus on that and be thankful for that.  Maybe Jon and I aren’t meant to have children.  Maybe we can just spend the rest of our lives traveling…who knows.  I’ve just got to focus on the positive and keep my spirits up. 

TGIF People!!!!

Thank God It’s Friday!!!  I know all of you who work are echoing my sentiments, and I wish I was right there with you!!  Fortunately, I only have one more week to go before I can get back to “my life”.  Of course, this is barring any craziness happening, but I’m going to stay positive.

People don’t understand why I want to go back to work so badly.  I’m a People Person.  A huge people person!!!  Anyone who knows me knows that I love being around people, talking, learning, hanging out…I love it.  Thank God that I have such good friends that also happen to be neighbors.  BJ, Kelly, Christine, Tristin, and Lisa have been so much fun to hang out with, and girls especially have been there for me to keep my spirits up.  And of course, there’s my beautiful godson Eli, whose parents just happen to be BJ and Kelly and we live right next to each other.  Thankfully, BJ and Kelly let me play with Eli and treat him like he’s my own when I’m around him.  They are such giving people, and they really don’t know how much it means to me.  The funny thing is that Jon and BJ look like they could be brothers, so when we all go out for dinner, on top of the fact that I’m known as “Auntie Katie” and Jon is “Uncle Jonny”, people really think that we are all related.  Hilarious!

That all being said, I love my job a lot!!  I love what I do, the interaction with the people at work, etc.  The interesting thing will be that if I go back to work on June 13^th, I have to leave town for work June 20^th.  That will pretty scary for me because I don’t know if I’m going to be traveling by myself or not.  I’m a great traveler, but with all this MS stuff, and the fact that it’s still affecting me in my hands (pain, numbness, grip problems) THAT SCARES ME. Just being able to hang on to my bags and suitcase, the steering wheel for goodness sake!!  Oh, on top of the fact that that week is Week 8 for my two classes.  The last week.  Could anything more be going on??  LOL

This weekend, however,  we are going to go to Jon’s dad’s house for a Father’s Day weekend.  We’ll head up there tomorrow after my conference call for school at 8am.  The fun thing about Jon’s dad, Roy and his wife Lynn is that they have two beagles named Bailey and Lucy.  They also have quite a bit of fenced in property, so Charlie LOVES it.  Charlie and Bailey get along really well, and Lucy just feels like a third wheel, I think.  Ah well.  

Tomorrow night Jon’s brother Dan and his girlfriend Cassie are coming down and we’re going to have a cookout for Father’s Day.  YUM YUM YUM!!!

Then on Sunday, we’re going to head up to Wisconsin to go to the baptism of our good friends Monica and Jason for their baby boy Nikolai.  Can’t want to meet the little one and see how they and little Felicity have been doing!  It’s been since November, I believe, that we’ve seen them.

And then Monday…dum dum DUM!!!! Is the appointment for the IVF doctor.  I’m excited and very nervous.  I know that thousands of women are going through what I’m going through, well maybe not thousands with MS, but thousands of women who are having difficulty getting pregnant.  I’m just so glad that Jon will be with me.  Four ears are better than two!  He always seems to come up with the good questions that I don’t think of, so that’s incredibly helpful.

We’ll see what happens…

MS Appointment Results...

Sorry I’ve been so absent lately.  I've been busy with school and travel...  :)

Where to start…

Well, I had my MS Doctor appointment last Thursday.  He is such a hoot.  The more I see him, the more of him I see, if that makes sense.  He’s finally learned that I have a sense of humor, and I deal with things that frighten me through humor.  (MS?  Scares me to death.) 

As Jon and I are walking back to the doctor’s office, me with a slightly off-kilter gait, the MS doc asks me how I’m doing.  I said to him that I felt that I was 2-3 times worse than I was 5 weeks ago.  I was shakier, more numb (head, face, throat {most annoying as it feels like I can’t swallow or breathe} at times my back, forearms, hands, sometimes my legs, and feet), my grip was terrible, my eyesight was messed up, and my brain was having some problems putting words in my mouth.  MS Doc looks directly at Jon and says “You need to get a new wife.” 

Ahahahahaha!!  Hahahahaha...hahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha. 

“Fix me, Doc.”

(Complete and random sidebar: as I have finished my school work for the day, I’ve been watching the last three episodes of the Oprah Show.  If you watched it and didn’t shed a tear, you have no soul.)

So, the Doc performed his examination, and concluded that my MS wasn’t getting worse (yay!), but that I was going through steroid withdrawal hardcore.  Um, wonderful.  He asked me how I was sleeping, which I wasn’t without chemical help.  I told him that I tried not taking anything the night before and I was up ALL NIGHT.  Doc basically told me that I was “kooky”, yes kooky, and that I needed to stop being such a worrywart, and that I wasn’t going to get better unless I rested and relaxed.  Jon had to clarify: “So, Doc, it’s your medical opinion that she needs to calm the F down?”  Doc laughed and said yes.  

Greeeeaaaaat.  (I'm pretty sure Jon would have recorded that if he were able.  I did not offer him the assistance of my iPhone.)

It’s an inherent gene that I have called “worryism”, and I’m pretty sure that I can’t not worry.  It frustrates Jon to no end, and he will be the first one to tell you that.

So, the Doc prescribed me with another sleeping pill, and anti-anxiety drugs, which I have yet to take.  Why?  Because I don’t think I’m crazy.  But, isn’t that what all the crazy people say?  Muuuuhahahaha.

Doc said that I need to give it another couple weeks and I should be OK.  And he’s been right so far…I do seem to be getting better.  Shocking how he’s right.  But, I guess that’s why he’s paid the big bucks.  We also have decided to start an MS medication called Tysabri.  It’s a drug that stays in my system for only 15 days, so the doctors will be able to time the drugs with my cycle, so that way, should I get pregnant, the drugs should be out of my system by then.  

Speaking of babies…Jon and I have also decided to look into IVF.  We were able to get an appointment with an IVF specialist next Monday to discuss our options.  If I’m able to get pregnant, the MS drugs can stop as a pregnancy should suppress my symptoms.

All that being said, I’m planning on going back to work on June 13^th.  YAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!  Again, people, it is no fun being at home on disability.    NO FUN AT ALL.  My dog begs to differ, but he’s a pansy.